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Below are some pointers that can help foreigners interact with Filipinos in general and Davaoeños (local folks in Davao) in particular. These are applicable in common social situations.

Social Gatherings and Meeting People

What To Wear

For less formal gatherings such as casual parties and meals especially here in Davao, a decidedly more laidback city compared to Manila, many people (men and women alike) usually pair jeans with nice casual polo shirts (for men) and blouses (for women).

For the ladies, it is important to dress tastefully. Showing “too much skin” is frowned upon, and it is better to err on the side of caution and dress a little more conservatively.

Meet The Parents… Kuyas, Titos, and everyone else too

Filipino society revolves around core family values, one of these being respect to the elderly. The oldest person in a gathering is usually the most important and accorded the most respect.

Remember The Title

Address people with Mr., Mrs., Ms or titles such as Dr., Atty., Engr., and their family name. Wait until you are invited to use given name or even a nick name.

We Shake Hands, Too

A smile and a polite (not too firm) handshake are acceptable for greeting new people.

Meeting Time

In large social gatherings, it is usually fine to arrive 15 – 30 minutes late. Even an hour late is acceptable for VIPs. For business meetings, however, everyone is expected to be on time.

To learn more about Filipino Time, click here.

For The Real Gentlemen

For men, a gentlemanly attitude and manners are very much appreciated. Go ahead and hold the door open for the ladies!

Dining Manners And All

Who will pay?

In general, the person who invites pays for the meal, but as a guest be prepared to offer to pay as well (your offer will usually be declined).

Home Dining

If you are invited to a meal at your host’s home, bring a gift or token to show your appreciation. A couple of good examples would be a basket of fresh fruits (easy to find, and better yet, cheap, in Davao), drinks (such as wine) that can be shared after the meal. Compliment the host and his/her spouse on their home.

Don’t begin eating until the host invites to do so

Your host may offer you an alcoholic drink (usually either beer or wine) to go with the meal. It’s fine to refuse if you don’t drink or do not want to drink. If you do take up the offer, remember that getting drunk is frowned upon

During meals, the general rule is to help yourself. You may offer to serve some of the food or pour a drink for the person seated next to you, but it is fine not to do so

Spoons, Knives, Chopsticks or just Toothpick?

Spoons and forks are almost always used during meals. Sometimes chopsticks may be used, if dining at an Asian restaurant. Less frequently, people may eat using their own hands, but this is usually done at very informal and casual settings. (Besides, there is an art to eating with your hands, and it takes a lot of practice before you are able to feed yourself properly without making a mess.) It’s fine not to follow what other guests are using and just use whatever you’re comfortable with

Don’t Eat The Last Donut: Filipino Style

It is acceptable to not finish all of the food and say you are full. “Sayang!” The last morsel of the dish is usually just left on the table.

What To Do Next?

Don’t immediately leave after meals; lingering and a little bit of chit-chat is expected

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This article on Social Etiquette To Observe In Davao and The Philippines is written by Katlyn Batuigas.

What exactly is Filipino Time?

Hmm, let’s see. Hold on for a while, I’ll get back to you in about 30 minutes to 1 hour.

All kidding aside, the term “Filipino Time” was coined to describe the chronic tardiness that plagues Filipinos here in the Philippines. Outside the country, our countrymen are known as some of the most industrious and conscientious workers around, and ironically, they try their best not to adhere to Filipino Time. Here at home though, it’s a different story.

Say you agree to meet your friends for dinner and a movie at 6:30 PM. You can expect most of them to show up at 7:00 PM, some will trickle in halfway through your meal, and the occasional straggler pops up just in time for the movie.

Another example: You decide to throw a party, and you tell everyone to come at 8:00 PM. The truth is, you want the party to “officially” start at around 9:00 PM and hence set the time about an hour ahead to accommodate the number of guests who will probably come in late (a good guesstimate lies between 50 and 75 per cent).

Getting To Know The Filipino Time

Who knows how the Filipino Time came about? Some blame it on our colonial past—the Spaniards brought with them the concept of “siesta” (mid-afternoon break) and “mañana” (literally: tomorrow; leaving things to the last minute) to the islands, and the country has not been able to set our internal clocks right since then. Others associate it with the Filipino “bahala na” (derived from “Bathala na”, which means to leave matters in God’s hands) attitude: Que sera, sera – Whatever will be, will be. And yet more blame it on a variety of reasons—traffic, the weather, even our own national identity (“It’s just a Pinoy thing…”).

How To Handle Filipino Time

As a foreigner new to the Philippines, what can you expect about Filipino Time? And how should you deal with it?

First, it depends on the context. For business meetings, as a general rule, one must be punctual, and this holds true in the Philippines as well. For more casual settings, however, expect the rules to be relaxed, or disregarded, even.

The following are noteworthy:

• It is expected for the party who arrived earlier to give a grace period of about 10-15 minutes for the other, to give leeway for circumstances beyond anyone’s control (although many especially foreigners wouldn’t agree, traffic can be considered a valid reason—traffic in the Philippines, especially in the bigger cities in Metro Manila, can really be unpredictable).
• If you arrive early or expect that you will be arriving too early, feel free to pass the time or make a brief stopover at a nearby café.
• One of the biggest reasons why people arrive at gatherings late is that each one is expecting everyone else to arrive late. Therefore, the best reason to get everyone to arrive on time is to politely but firmly point out that you expect everyone to be there at that time, sharp. Believe it or not, many people forget to emphasize this point, as Filipinos are often easygoing about a lot of things, and thus everyone ends up waiting around for everyone else.
• If people still fail to be punctual, and it’s for a casual meeting, my best advice would be not to sweat it. Stressing out and making a mountain out of what others would consider a molehill does no good for anyone. Accept the latecomer’s apology graciously, and try to enjoy the rest of your time!

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This article on Filipino Time is contributed by Katlyn Krista Batuigas.