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After your stint overseas, it may be time for you to come back to your hometown, be it for a vacation or for good. Do you remember the difficulties you had when you first left home? The truth is, many people find that coming back home is just as difficult as, if not more than, arriving at and settling in a new country.

Once you come back home, you will probably look at the little details of your previous lifestyle and make comparisons in pretty much the same way you did when you came to your new country. All the differences you notice, between your original home and your new one, may become overwhelming for you. For example, having lived in Singapore for a few years, every time I came back home to Davao, it wasn’t very easy dealing with how laidback the lifestyle and atmosphere at home was. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing, it was just so… different!

You probably changed a great deal while you were away, and it won’t be easy for your family and friends to accept and comprehend these changes. Furthermore, you may find that it’s not just you who has changed—your loved ones, the people in your life, your old surroundings: you may not have anticipated that they could change too.

You now face the difficulty of re-adjusting to your old home while longing for the friends and experiences you had and left behind. Your family and old friends may not seem as keen on knowing about your life overseas as you feel they should be, and this could cause frustration especially when you are unable to adequately describe and explain your experience abroad.

Exposure to a different culture and environment, unfamiliar behavior, ideas and norms — this leads you to re-examine your own culture and identity. It could result in a slightly or even completely different perception of your home city or country, with either a more negative or positive attitude, perhaps even both.

What, then, is the best way to deal with reverse culture shock?

Every individual will have their own way of coping with readjustment and reintegration, but these are a few tips that can be useful for anyone:

1. Find a something similar or familiar. If you are missing certain activities, habits, places or a particular atmosphere from abroad, it will probably be worth your while if you look for something similar back in your hometown. It can be a park, beach or district that resembles a certain spot you used to frequent abroad, or a restaurant that serves your favorite foreign food — it can even be a video rental store that carries films from your adopted country! Of course it’s not likely that you will find the exact same thing you are missing, but it may be enough to fill this “empty space”!

2. Be interesting and be interested. Your friends and family may not be giving you attention the way you would like, and may not seem that interested in hearing about your life overseas. If this is the case, maybe you need to take another approach in telling your story. Explain the changes and adjustment you had to undergo in terms that they are familiar with and/or can definitely understand. For example, you can give descriptive nicknames for some of the friends or people you met abroad, to make them more memorable and interesting. Or, when narrating events, try to compare them to other events that your family and friends can relate to. It’s not very helpful and remarkable if all you can say is “I had a great time, you had to be there to understand.” Try your best to explain away! For example: “The first time I (tried a certain delicacy) (visited a place) it was like (this other time when you did something back home) (a cross between one familiar thing and another).” Pull your listeners into the story, and get them to ask more questions. Also, it’s very important to remember that these people have probably changed the whole time you were away too. Make sure to let them know you’re interested in hearing their own stories as well.

3. Tell the world you are coming back home. Do you feel out of touch with the new friends you left behind? Chances are, they’re probably waiting to hear from you and are eager to know that you arrived safely back home. Take the initiative: let them know you miss them, describe the things and activities that keep you busy, tell them about the unexpected difficulties and changes that you are encountering. Keep up with the times by checking our online newspapers or news sites from overseas. If you had an employer you were fond of, let him or her know how you are doing and what your plans are for the future. Don’t wait for them to contact you!

4. Meet a person with similar experience overseas. Talk to other people you know who have also returned after spending much time abroad and who may be undergoing the same feelings and difficulties you’re having. They may be able to share some advice and encouraging words.

Don’t forget, some of the tips in dealing with the initial culture shock (refer to previous Culture Shock article) are relevant to reverse culture shock as well.

Once again, solutions to reverse culture shock are abundant and unique to each individual. Perhaps the most important thing is to remember that the time and experiences you had abroad were well-spent, and have shaped you into the unique and interesting person you are now!

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This article on Reverse Culture Shock is written by Katlyn Batuigas.

How To Lessen The Impact

Before leaving home, you may do the following:

1. Find out as much as you can about your new country beforehand. One of the best antidotes to culture shock is knowing as much as possible about where you are. Read books, talk to people who have been there, explore this Web site.

2. Find out about the living conditions of local people, the political situation, the currency, climate and what the cuisine is like. Pick up a phrase book and start practicing counting and simple greetings.

3. Familiarize yourself with the phases of culture shock. Like a forecast of rough weather ahead, you’ll still have to weather the storm but you’ll be better equipped to cope well.

The Different Stages of Culture Shock

Stage 1: Honeymoon Phase

Most people begin with great expectations and a positive mindset. Anything new is fascinating, and even early problems are seen as quaint—all part of the experience of newness. The first few hurdles of settling in (such as opening bank accounts, getting a driver’s license, finding schools, doctors, or shopping centers) are successfully overcome. You’re in control, and feel fortunate for having the opportunity to move overseas.

• Be a tourist; try to spend some time visiting the local attractions, send some postcards and photos back home.
• Make some new contacts by joining clubs and associations, sign up for activities
• Join a language course
• Book/plan a holiday a few months ahead to give you something to look forward to

Stage 2: Rejection Phase

The honeymoon phase comes to an end, and the newcomer has to struggle with normal, everyday problems e.g. trains don’t come or leave on time, can’t buy their favorite food or brand of shampoo, can’t understand the local accent or idioms. Daily frustrations build up into disillusionment and self-doubt, leading one to “reject” the host country and think that he is not welcome.

• Look after yourself: exercise, treat yourself to a massage. Avoid excessive alcohol and over-eating. If you take care of your physical well-being, you feel better about yourself overall and this will help curb the number of negative thoughts that could get into your head from day to day
• Try to record your thoughts and feelings in a journal or a blog. This gives you a healthy outlet for expressing your frustrations
• Continue language study
• Don’t give in to the urge to criticize the new country and culture; resist making snide comments and jokes which are intended to illustrate the “stupidity of the locals“
• Try not to associate with other expats who do make them—they will only reinforce your unhappiness and aggravate the culture shock that you are already experiencing

Stage 3: Regression Phase

In the regression phase, you find yourself “moving backward“: you spend much of your time speaking your own language, eating food from home, and moving in social circles that are comprised almost entirely of people from your own culture and background. You may only remember the good things about your home country that suddenly seem wonderful now. You wonder why you ever left your home, where it seemed nothing ever went wrong for you. This is, of course, not true, but an illusion created by your culture shock crisis.

• Identify a local national (e.g. a neighbor, a parent of someone in class with your children) who is sympathetic and understanding, and talk to that person about specific situations and your feelings related to them. Talking with other expats can be helpful but only to a limited extent — you should concentrate more on your relationship to your new country
• Keep yourself busy; set daily targets and make the effort to achieve them
• Re-evaluate and reinforce the goals you had in going overseas

Stage 4: Recovery Phase

In this stage, you become more comfortable with the language and customs of your new country, and can move around without a feeling of anxiety. You may still have problems with some social cues and things that people say or do, but you know to take it easy on yourself and you are more self-understanding and tolerant of others. You even start preferring some things in your new country to those at home. You may also find that you’re now the one helping others in the same situation you were with adjusting to the new culture. Best of all, you find that you’ve regained your sense of humor.

• Explore the new culture and don’t be afraid to try new things—food, sports, shows, etc.
• Buy some local tokens and furnishings for your home
• Branch out a little more from your current social network. This is also a fantastic opportunity to practice speaking in the local language.
• Take that holiday that you booked earlier!

Stage 4: Reverse Culture Shock

The last stage of culture shock, called Reverse Culture Shock, occurs when you return home after a long stay abroad. Strategies in coping with reverse culture shock are similar to the ones we’ve learned above, and one more important tip is to realize that no one country is really that much better than another—it is just different lifestyles and different ways of dealing with problems in life.

Not everyone experiences all the different stages of culture shock. Moreover, you can experience all stages at different times; for example, you may go through the regression phase before rejection.

How long will culture shock last? That varies depending on where you came from, how different the cultures are, the support systems available to you, and so on, but it also depends to some extent on you and your resiliency. Don’t forget to have faith—in yourself, in the essential good will of your new countrymen, and in the positive outcome of this exciting experience.

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This is the second part of Katlyn Batuigas’s article on Culture Shock. (In case you missed it, Part 1 is here.) In Part 2, Katlyn offers insightful tips on really understanding Culture Shock and how you can cope up with it’s devastating impact.

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